Eric's Theme (Radioactive Runaways)

Written and performed by Norm Sherman

I'm a radioecologist staring in horror at the TV screen.
I see my old pet box turtle Gamera, but now he's huge and his eyes shoot laser beams.
He's got a Japanese submarine in between his front teeth, can you believe he used to be like a son to me?
My, my, my, they grow up so fast.
Singin', my, my, my, they grow up so fast.

I found you in a basin full of radiation, a nuclear reservoir power plant station.
A starry-eyed tenderfoot terrapin swimming in trash bins brimming with uranium mutagens.
Transformation, total mutation, turtle sent by Satan to destroy every nation.
My, my, my, they grow up so fast.
Singin', my, my, my, they grow up so fast.

I saw jet propulsion rockets blast, from a cavity in your ass.
They took you off the ground and up into the sky, you never turned around and you never said goodbye.
And it seems just like yesterday, I was taking you home to my lab.
Guess it's true what they sometimes say, they grow up too fast: radioactive runaways. 

Now you're knockin' down cities, no pity for the people of Tokyo.
You say it's payback time for all the sludge and slime dumped in your waterflow.
Oh, where did we go wrong, where did we lose track, where'd you get plasma cannons hooked into your back?
My, my, my, they grow up so fast.
Singin', my, my, my, they grow up so fast.

And suddenly behind you, another daikaiju: your old arch nemesis Barugon.
He used to be a Tokay gecko back in the day but then came gamma rays and atom bombs.
Now, he's bigger than an Amtrack, glowing spikes on his back and some kind of weird ass rainbow-laser beam attack.
My, my, my, they grow up so fast.
Singin', my, my, my, they grow up so fast.

I saw thunderbolts crashing, fireballs flashing, twenty-ton turtle and a gecko clashing,
Reptile movie stars, Barugon and Gameras's Battle of the Century caught on all cameras.
It seems just like yesterday, I was taking you home to my lab.
Guess it's true what they sometimes say, they grow up too fast, those radioactive runaways.

The smoke clears away: the city's smashed to Hell. Barugon's been slain, beside him lies your shell,
I pray to God above, but keep my eyes on the TV screen.
If you weren't an abomination, you might still be here with me.

I saw a fire and flames comin' out of your face, waiting to incinerate the whole human race.
I turned off the TV with tears in my eyes, thinking 'bout the good times and how they fly by.
And it seems just like yesterday, I was taking you home to my lab.
Guess it's true what they sometimes say, they grow up too fast, those radioactive runaways.

I saw jet propulsion rockets blast, from a cavity in your ass.
They took you off the ground and up into the sky, you never turned around and you never said goodbye.
And it seems just like yesterday, I was taking you home to my lab.
Guess it's true what they sometimes say, they grow up too fast: those radioactive runaways.