9. You mist yourself three times a day.
8. You see a Yorkshire Terrier or a Chihuahua and instinctively think "Hey, snake food!"
7. You often refer to pregnant women as being "gravid."
6. You're lulled to sleep every night by the sound of croaking frogs and chirping crickets, yet you live in a high rise.
5. You don't mind an occasional fly in your soup.
4. You keep your apartment at a constant 85 degrees F, with lights pointed at the couch to make a 95 degree F basking spot.
3. You find yourself longing for a plague of locusts; cheap, convenient, and nutritious.
2. Your "children" don't have any legs.
1. Your car looks like this:
